Relaxation on Explosion Lane
by Kyla of the Desert
Summary: Awkward moments the flock has at random times. Warning: No plot! One-Shot collection! FAX, EGGY. T for suggestive themes. Dylan doesn't exist!
1. Chapter 1

**So, these are just random things that happen when no one's looking. I got this inspiration from reading stories by greysky3 and fangsallmine1123. **

**I was just thinking, "hey, all of my stories are depressing and stressful in some way, so why don't I just throw in some random stuff?" So here it is, the trash that floats through my mind twenty four seven. Full of pranks and other stuff that either center around Max and Fang, Angel reading dirty thoughts, Nudge who won't stop blabbering about personal stuff, and Iggy and Gazzy blowing stuff up. So the whole flock, basically. **

**And, check out one of my other stories, Birds of a Feather! It's on my profile, and it's kind of depressing, but I can say, chapter 17 has problems. Like weird awkward problems. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride! If I did, Dylan wouldn't exist. **

**This takes place in no particular place in time, and Dylan _doesn't _exist. But I only don't want him to exist because Max loves Fang, and that's just how life works. **

**Enjoy, my wonderful, soon-to-be reviewers!**

The Birds and the Bees

Chapter 1: Introduction

Imagine, a world without kissing. Because being oriented in the room directly next to Fang's, this is all Nudge hears when she's about to go to sleep. And it's all because Max doesn't want to be all lonely in her room.

And when breakfast rolls around, Max and Fang sit there like nothing happened. Right.

Nudge was tired of it! She was sick and tired of all of their mushiness ruining her sleep! Normally, Nudge was all for Fax, but this was getting ridiculous. So Nudge did the unthinkable. She told Iggy.

"Iggy, and it's all like, squish, squish, and I can't hear myself think! They probably smashed themselves up against the wall where my bed is so that they can sit there and suck face! It's terrible! What if Angel was in my room instead of me? They would be killing the innocence of a child! I can hear them threw the flippin' wall!"

"Squish, squish?" was all Iggy said, his face screwing up.

"Yeah! And I keep hearing—"

"Hearing what, Nudge?" Angel sang as she skipped into the living room. Max and Fang had gone out for a "fly" and they weren't back yet.

"Hi Angel!" Nudge chirped. "And I kept hearing this, like, I don't know how to describe it, it was—"

"What, you heard Max and Fang too?" Gazzy said, walking into the room while rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah! Since everyone's here, we should have a flock meeting, minus Max and—"

"So you're going to just leave me out?" Max said from behind Nudge. Her face was flushed and her hair was windblown.

Angel looked like she was going to say something when she looked at Fang and gasped. "Eww! Fang!" She whined. "That's gross! It's gross!"

Fang shot Angel a look that said, "Ange, stay out of my  
mind!" But she kept flipping out.

"What?" Max said.

"Nothing." Fang turned and strolled out of the room.

"Max, what does… what does…." Angel stood up on her tip toes and cupped her hands around her mouth, giving a clue to Max. Max leaned down and tilted her head towards Angel.

Max gasped and jumped back. "Angel," she said, her voice almost shaking, "don't repeat that."

Max followed Fang out of the room.

"Fang was probably being a pervert, Angel. All guys are perverts." Nudge said dismissively, laughing at Iggy's indignant face. "But we need to fix this. Angel is about to be exposed to the world of perverts, Gazzy already has, and Iggy… well, Iggy is irritated."  
"When is Iggy not irritated?" Gazzy asked, sipping from his seventh juice box in a row.

"I don't know, but that's not the point!"

A deep voice spoke from behind Nudge, and she jumped. "What's not the point?"

_Man, I really need to move away from the door. _Nudge thought.

"Um, what's greater than God, more evil than the devil… um… poor people have it, rich people want it… um…." Nudge fumbled, thinking of a riddle that she read online.

"Nothing." Fang said, reaching over Gazzy to pull a slice of leftover pizza from the fridge. Normally, leftover pizza was ultra rare, but they had ordered too much yesterday, and Fang was lucky that everyone but him had forgotten about it.

"Is that all you can say?" Iggy asked. Fang shot him an ineffective look and walked out of the room.

"This needs to stop!" Nudge demanded, moving away from the kitchen door.

"I second that emotion!" Gazzy shouted while grabbing his ninth juice box.

Total's black body trotted into the room. "Is this a freedom rally? If so, I would like to join. Anything to end Max and Fang's iron rule. Just because their oldest doesn't mean that they're the smartest."

"So you're planning to over throw me?"

"Yep." Total huffed, puffing his chest up, not noticing Max directly behind him. She let out a sharp laugh and opened the fridge.

"Where's the leftover pizza from yesterday?"

"In my intestines. Want me to give it to you?" Fang said calmly, leaning over her to look in the fridge. "Where are the juice—"

"You ate the last slice!"

"Yep. I didn't know there were two blind people here. You're more convincing than Iggy, and he does a dang good job."

Max turned around and shoved Fang's chest. He didn't move.

Angel's face took on one of determination. "Fang, we need to have a talk with you and Max. You are keeping Nudge up at night, and frankly, I want to know what 'tap that' means."

Iggy burst out in laughter. "Whoa Fang, didn't know you and Max were like _that_."

"Like what?" Max's mom said calmly, strolling into the kitchen with groceries.

"Did you get ingredients for lasagna?" Iggy asked hastily.

"Yep."

"Dr. Martinez, I think it's about time you had a talk with your oldest daughter and her boyfriend." Angel said after giving her a hug.

Dr. Martinez looked over at Max, and then sent a small, slightly deadly, glare at Fang. "The birds and the bees," Iggy added helpfully.

Nudge blurted, "they've been keeping me up all night!" then covered her mouth.

"We _do not _want another commando or little emo bird kid running around!" Gazzy shouted. Max, Fang, and Dr. Martinez's eyes all got wide.

Nudge giggled at the thought of a little, miniature Fang shouting orders like, "Come change my diaper!" because Max and Fang would completely leave it lying around when they go for a "fly".

"I'm not emo." was all Fang said.

"You didn't deny it." Iggy pointed out.

"If I would have denied it, you all would have instantly thought I was lying. So you _want _me to say, 'eww gross, no!'?"

"Would it be wrong if I did?"

"Well, you can't say anything since you and Ella have been going at it like rabbits." It was a lie and Fang knew it, but he knew that Iggy and Ella were getting all cozy.

Dr. Martinez's mouth dropped to the ground.

And then Ella picked the worst possible time to walk in, having come home from school.

"Mom, Max? I'm home!" She shouted.

Dr. Martinez turned her deadly gaze in the direction of the door. In a deadly calm and sickly sweet voice she sang, "Ella, come here, honey!"

Ella strolled in the door and smiled at Iggy. Her mother missed nothing.

"I need to have a _serious_ talk with you, Iggy, Fang, and Max." The doctor said, her voice dripping from like honey and then turning to venom as it hit their ears.

* * *

As soon as the younger kids left the room, my mom's voice stung at my eardrums like razors. "ARE YOU USING PROTECTION?!"

"Huh?" Ella said. My mom took it like, "What's protection?"

"You kids! I have no problem with you all having love lives, but you have to know where to draw the line!" She sounded exasperated. "If you know that it's going far, have a back up." Her glare shifted to Fang and Iggy, who just looked surprised.

"But-" Fang started, but Mom cut him off.

"Fang! There are no 'buts' about this! In a world like this, there are so many diseases that you can get that you can't rid of!"

"We have improved immune systems; we can't get stuff that you guys can get." Iggy pointed out, which frankly, was telling my mother that it _was _what it seemed like.

"Iggy, are you forgetting that Ella is completely human?!"

"What does it matter? No one's-"

"What does it matter? What does it matter?" Mom's voice skipped two octaves. "I mean that I don't want a miniature Max, Fang, Iggy, or Ella running around!"

Ella's mouth widened in horror. "So _that's _what this is about?" She said in disgust.

"Yes. I can't have you guys sleeping around and producing offspring. And there are still impressionable little kids in here! Think about Angel!" My mom was seriously flipping out right now.

I stepped up. "Mom, it's not—"

"Max," she said in a voice that made my heart break. "I thought you were responsible, but apparently you are letting your hormones getting the best of you."

"Mom!" I shouted. "It's not like that! There aren't going to be any new residents any time soon! No one is losing their innocence! We understand the birds and the bees!"

My mom paused. "Then what was everyone saying earlier?"

"I don't know, I honestly don't know."

Fang draped his arm around my shoulder as we walked out of the kitchen. "What was Nudge talking about?"

"I don't know. Who was making noise in your room?"

"I don't know. I sleep in the living room so I can get internet connection on that crappy laptop of Ella's, since Gazzy lost mine."

"That was a cool laptop." I agreed.

It dawned on me. If I was in my room sleeping, Fang was in the living room, Iggy was in his room, Ella in hers, who was making the noise?

The only other couple in the house….

"Total!" Fang and I shouted at the same time.

Oh, and they said that they didn't want a little Fang running around – I admit, it would be a horror – but they didn't even think about little flying Malamutes.

**I think I topped my scale of longest chapters in any of my stories. Then next one will be a little fluffy. I hope. **

**Please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm going to explain what I meant by Gazzy loosing Fang's laptop. Thank you to:**

**ElectroNerd: Thanks! I wanted it to be funny – a great contrast from Diseased!**

**Black Rose Lyrics: Thanks for favoriting my story already!**

**Mister Moronic: Yep, and there is more… bizarre-ness to come!**

**TheNudgeChannel: Yay, but I hope you didn't destroy any valuable articles of clothing! I am going to keep writing! Since you're a guest, I suggest getting an account. If it's not to write, you can still enjoy the wonderful world of Fan Fiction, and I will take your request. In the next chapter, Iggy WILL get kidnapped by fangirls, because I love the idea.**

**I already have followers and reviewers! I feel so loved!**

**ElectroNerd and me, you see, we have a friend whose pen name is Black Night Shadow, and she has broken the golden rule of a fan fiction author. She hasn't updated in like, forever. **

**Anyone heard the song "Just Be Friends" By Luka? It's the peppiest break-up song that I've ever heard. I love it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride**

**So, check out my actual story, "Birds of a Feather"! I usually update daily, but yesterday was an exception. **

**R&R! Tell me what _you _think! I'm looking for seven reviews. Reviewers get to be blog users!**

Terrorist

Chapter 2: When life gives you lemons…

Three months ago…

I awoke to the sound of a steady heart beat, most likely the thing that lulled me to sleep. Fang's strong arms were wrapped around me, pressing me to him. And we were on the sofa.

I tried to squirm away, but Fang grabbed me, made _some _type of sound, and shifted. He practically killed me. It was all I could do not to shove him off of me. It was still dark outside, and some stupid sitcom was playing on the television.

The little clock on the side of the TV said 3:45 AM. I allowed myself to go back to sleep.

Then, I was alone on the sofa. The sun was streaming delicately through the curtains, warming my face.

I sat up to a war zone – pillows everywhere. There were feathers – from my flock or the pillows, I don't know – and cups of liquid spilled on every square inch of the room. Nudge popped up from behind the sofa, scaring the living daylights out of me.

"Oh my god, Max, run!" She screamed at me, her smooth brown face seriously terrified.

I grabbed her and hugged her, trying to calm her down. "Nudge, what's wrong? Who's here?"

She looked up at me, true fear in her eyes. "Fang," she whispered brokenly.

Just then, Fang burst through the room, rage – pure rage, which was rare – glinted in his eyes. They flicked towards me, examining the truly confused face that I wore, and flicked away in a second.

I walked right up to him, putting my hands on his shoulders. "No one terrorizes my fl—"

"Where is he?!" Fang growled, shrugging my hands off his shoulders. Wow, he was pissed. No one was scarier than Fang when he's angry.

"Who?"

"Gasman. He needs to die, NOW!" Fang was trying to push past me to Gazzy, who was trying to make his way out of the window.

"Fang!" I shouted, wrapping my arms around his. He was obviously trying not to hurt me by elbowing me in the gut, but he looked like he wanted to. "Fang, stop!" I shouted.

He seemed to calm down a little, watching Gazzy fly out the window. He looked down at me as if he just realized that I was there. "Come, look at this."

Fang walked into his room where his laptop was. On the screen was an onslaught of messages, each rolling in by the minute.

**Black Rose Lyrics:** "_Fang, man that is low. You don't just do that."_

**ElectroNerd:** "_Wow, I didn't know that your blog was _this _type of website."_

**The Nudge Channel:** "_I should visit this more often. This is the flock's version of Say Uncle!"_

**Mister Moronic:** "_Dude, that song is so _old_!" _

I looked over at Fang. "So, what is it?"

He shoved a video at me, and I almost died then and there. There was footage on the screen looked like it was taken from a security camera, and it was a video montage of our living room.

On the screen at the moment, Fang was walking through with his IPod in, and it was clear that the video had no sound. He paused in the living room, and his face screwed up as he tilted his head, listening. Then, a look of pure happiness – one that never crosses his face – popped up, and he started dancing. Like, really dancing. Looking carefully at his lips, he was singing "Fireflies" by Owl City. I looked at his really pissed face, and then back at the screen. I could see his lips form, "I'd like to make myself believe~ that planet Earth, turns, slow-ly~."

On screen his head snapped up and he looked at the door, regaining his composure faster than the eye could follow. I could see myself walk across the room and say something to him. He followed me out.

I remembered the moment when I was wondering what the heck he was doing standing in the living room with that dumb look on his face.

I could feel my bottom lip poking out, trying not to die right then and there.

The next clip was taken from the same spot, so when the scene changed, it looked like Iggy just randomly appeared.

And he was only wearing boxers.

You see, Iggy is muscular. He's not as toned as Fang, but he's pretty much in-shape if you consider the amount of fights to the death he's been in.

On-screen-Iggy stretched his arms in the air, scratching under his arms. Then, he brought his hand up to his face to smell it. He then continued to yawn and shrug. On his way to the sofa, he tripped over a small box and almost landed on his face. He cursed air and flipped of no one… except that Ella was standing in the door way.

Then, as if like magic, the audio popped on. "You idiot! What are you, blind?!" Ella screamed. Must have been having one of those days.

Then they started making out, on the couch. I eat dinner on that couch! Fang and I have made out, but not on the public sofa!

Fang snorted as the video changed _again. _This time, however, it didn't have audio.

Nudge was in the living room, talking to Iggy. They seemed to be having a heated argument, and Nudge was winning.

Iggy threw his hands up in the air and then sighed in defeat. Nudge grinned. She reached out of the camera's sight and pulled into view a small purse.

Iggy's eyes widened in terror and he stumbled backwards until he hit the sofa. Nudge grabbed his face, and the time lapsed a little. Nudge finally pulled back to reveal Iggy, and he was made up to look just like me, except with shorter hair. And the way Nudge had his hair; it could have easily been me with my hair tied back.

Iggy sat on the sofa, defeated, when Fang strolled in.

Fang threw his arm around the back of where Iggy was sitting, and I could tell that Fang hadn't noticed the change yet.

Nudge just giggled and strolled out.

Fang moved his arm and said something, and Iggy yelled. The audio cut on just then. "Stand it?! Your breath smells like crap!"

Fang jumped up in surprise and threw his hands up in the air. "Aww sick! I thought you were-"

"I know, it was Nudge!"

Fang stormed out of the room.

The next video was full audio.

"Max," Fang was saying to me while I was sitting on the sofa.

I remembered this conversation, and it wasn't something that I wanted on the World Wide Web.

"Fang," on screen me pleaded. "I'm not ready for this."

"I know. I'm not trying to force you into anything."

"But it feels like you are!" The laptop display showed my face moving up to face tiny Fang. Tiny me sighed and placed her head in her hands.

Fang started to rub my back. "It doesn't have to be this way."

"You're right."

"Maybe we should just end this all together."

"Okay," I whispered on-screen.

I reached up and punched Fang in the face. On-screen Fang grabbed my hair and dragged me around, but I landed another punch, this time to his gut.

"You shouldn't have bet me!" Fang shouted. "I told you that you would lose!"

"I didn't lose!"

"If you didn't, we wouldn't be here right now! Say uncle!" Fang hit me in the jaw, and I could feel my teeth rattle.

"No, you say it!" I screeched, grabbing his head and smashing it into the sofa.

"Meber!" came his muffled voice as he screamed.

Angel, Nudge, Iggy, and Gazzy all burst into the room.

"Wooooo! Yeah, go Fang!" Iggy shouted, pumping his fist into the air.

"Teach your woman a lesson! She needs to learn to give you what you want!" Gazzy screamed. Oh, that little pervert.

"So barbaric." Ella sighed as she walked through.

She only made it half way through the room, however, when she was tackled by the flurry of fists.

Then, my mom's voice wafted in, "Max? I'm home!"

Fang and I instantly straightened up and stood next to each other as if nothing happened. Except for the fact that my nose was totally broken and the fact that Fang had two black eyes, we acted as if it was all good.

We pretended to be categorizing our injuries with each other. Fang pretended to wince as he touched my nose. We scurried towards the staircase to make it look as if we had both fallen.

"Oh my lord in heaven, what happened to you two?" My mother asked.

"Fell down the stairs." Fang said. "Max's elbow hit me in the face and my knee broke her nose."

Mom gasped as she hovered around us. "How did you fall?"

"No one ever knows how this stuff happen-"

"You know what they were doing." Nudge said solemnly. "They didn't fa—"

"Shut up!" Gazzy said, dragging Nudge out of the room.

* * *

I looked up from the screen as the video ended.

"This was on your blog?"

"It _is _on my blog. It won't let me remove it. It went viral on YouTube because some douche decided to post it." Fang growled. "And the said douche lives with us."

"Fang," I scolded, "don't talk about Gazzy that way."

I looked over at the clock. It was 5:30. The younger kids were cleaning up the living room, and we still had an hour to kill before Mom got home. Ella had come in an hour ago.

I got up. "I'm going to go watch some TV." Fang followed me.

When we got down to the living room, everyone was already gathered around the TV.

"Max, you have to see this." Ella whispered.

I looked at the TV to see the video that Fang and I had just watched: the one with Fang and I fighting. It was at the very beginning, when Fang and I looked like we were having a serious talk.

The news reporters were cracking up. "This video has gone viral, and there have been rumors that it was posted by the famous Fang himself! He claims to be one of the bird kids!"

The screen zoomed in to the video and played all the way through. Mom was going to kill us.

I trained my deadly glare on Gazzy who looked like he wanted to shrink in a corner. "Gazzy, what drove you to post this on Fang's blog?"

"I don't know, Max! Okay? I'm sorry!" He was still staring at the screen as my mom appeared on the screen, fussing over Fang and me.

"When did you put the cameras up?!" I shouted

"When you and Fang were out flying!" Iggy chimed in unhelpfully.

The front door opened and Mom came storming in. "Max, Fang, what the heck is the meaning of this!" She practically screeched.

Deadly serious, Fang replied, "Say Uncle, Flock edition."

"Fang, I can't believe you broke Max's nose, and Max, you lied to my face! Both of you, to your rooms. Separately!"

We both trudged up the stairs. I plopped down on my bed, worn out from all of the yelling that took place today.

Then, there was more of it, the yelling that is.

"Where's my laptop?" Fang shouted, but it wasn't an angry, pissed shout. His shout was more like a, "hey, where's the remote?" shout.

I walked out in the hallway to see Gazzy. His big blue eyes pleaded with me. "Help me, Max. I lost Fang's laptop."

Was this the apocalypse? If so, I wouldn't be able to save the world. Not this time.

**Okay, so R&R! I'm not asking much when I say seven reviews people. This is not a one-shot story! It's a one-shot collection!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sooooo, I have already planned out the next four chapters! I got two requests for chapters and my brother's idea, so – in order – I will write them. Here they are…**

**Iggy gets kidnapped by fangirls**

**Fang gets pulled over by the cops and then locked up and then breaks out**

**Max and Fang switch bodies**

**Max goes through something so embarrassing, almost every pre-teen to teenage girl can relate. **

**Thank you to… xXxFoolishYoungAndInLoveXxX, SilverMoonGrimm, TheNudgeChannel AKA (MaximumAngel1), CT10698, 4, and ElectroNerd. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride.**

**Since I have today off from school (not my choice) I've taken the initiative to write the next three chapters today. I've gotten better with chapter length – re: making readable chapters that will keep you on the edge – instead of chapters that are about a half of a conversation long. It sounds pathetic, but this story is doing better than any of my other stories ever have. But they're gone now. Except for Birds of a Feather and Captured and Saved, there are no other stories that I am still working on. And my other on shot collection only had one acceptable story. The rest were trash. **

**R&R! (Read and Review, for anyone out there – like me – who didn't know that it could also mean rest and relaxation.) **

**For anyone who hasn't noticed, I've been naming my chapters after sayings. If I run out, I'll need your help.**

**So, if you have a request for me, please give me a saying (famous, from the books, or something that everyone just knows) that you think goes well with it.**

Kidnapper

Chapter 3: What, No White Van?

We realized Iggy was missing when we woke up and breakfast _wasn't _ready. Upon closer inspection, the kitchen looked as if no one had been in it for… a while. This was strange; especially when the house was full of six genetically engineered bird-kids, one genetically engineered dog, and two humans with two regular dogs.

We had to eat.

Iggy _had _to cook since my mom was at work.

Angel, Gazzy, Nudge, Ella and I all turned to look at Fang. My cooking wasn't an option. Ella had ten minutes to get out of the house to catch her bus.

Fang looked back at us. Emotionlessly, he said, "No can do; I'm just as bad as Max." Nudge's mouth hung opened.

"I thought you could cook!"

"You thought wrong." Fang said passively. "I like to eat, not cook."

Max the furious stepped up. "Where is Iggy!?" I shouted.

Ella looked guilty. "I don't know. I saw him yesterday. Let's check his room."

With her ten minutes up, Ella watched the bus fly by faster than the speed limit. No point in chasing that.

In Iggy's room, it was a crime scene.

The sheets on the bed we tangled up and on the floor, and the fitted sheet was torn. The lamp that was on his desk was broken by the window and his IPod was on the floor, minus the headphones.

"It looks like…." Gazzy trailed off, staring at the opened window. Its curtains were torn and blowing out of it.

"He was kidnapped." Fang finished.

"By who? I mean, if the School was here, wouldn't they have wanted to get all of us?" I asked, grabbing his IPod from the floor.

Fang and Angel exchanged a look. "We might know who." Angel said.

Pulling out Ella's laptop, Fang accessed his blog. The top comment was to be expected.

**MaximumAngel1: **_I saw your blog a couple of months ago, and I watched the news, and all I have to say is_, "Iggy is hawt!" _Iggy, watch out, you have a whole new community of Fan Girls coming your way!_

Um, I really didn't know what to say to that. "Are you trying to tell me that some girl kidnapped Iggy?"

"Not just any girl," Fang whispered ominously. "A girl that has an army – she has an army of fan girls."

"They're vicious. They're worse than Max when she's having a bad day." Gazzy added.

"I would know, because I'm totally a One Direction Fan Girl. If Harry Styles walked through the door right now, he wouldn't be able to escape." We all stared at Nudge, suddenly scared.

I waved my hand dismissively. "They aren't something we can't handle."

"Max, I seriously doubt that." Fang said.

"You're underestimating the power of love." Gazzy whispered.

* * *

After the sickly sweet smell had engulfed Iggy, he knew he was sunk.

In the grass, he laid there, expecting to hear the rest of the flock thump on the ground with him, but instead he heard a high, tinny voice.

"We got him! Iggy, don't worry, you're safe with us. We'll get you away from your demanding girlfriend." Iggy squirmed. These weren't mad scientists, these were pre-teenage girls.

"What the hell? Let me go you creeps!"

"No can do Iggy! We love you!" was the chant that Iggy could hear.

He could hear the car start, and they dragged him across the grass and tossed him in the trunk.

The next thing he knew, he was in a room somewhere, tied up.

"Iggy, oh Iggy, wake up!" A sweet voice sang. Iggy opened his eyes, but couldn't see the figure in front of him. Heck, he couldn't see _anything _in front of him. And then, he could.

One of the Fan Girls had hung up a perfectly white sheet against the wall that Iggy was facing, so he could make out the shapes and figures of the people in front of him.

The shortest girl in the group appeared to be talking.

"Iggy, we decided to save you from your controlling girlfriend and Max. Fang looked like he was just really mean to you, and Nudge looked like she wanted to pick on you. That is no way to live your life."

Another girl started talking. "Down here, you'll be safe. Always and forever!" The girls started moving closer to him and stroking his wings. "We love you." They were whispering.

Iggy flinched as one girl grabbed his face. "You're going to love it here." She sang, but it was more like a command than anything else.

* * *

"Okay, what should I type?" Fang asked me.

"Type in, 'if you _were _to get to the point of kidnapping Iggy, where would you take him?'."

"What if they know that we were trying to get information out of them?" Fang asked, for the fifth time in a row.

"JUST TYPE IT IN! THIS IS FOR IGGY!"

"Okay, okay, just… here look." Fang typed it in and sat back, waiting for a reply.

My mom had gotten home, and now we were all in the living room.

"Max, maybe he just decided to go for a fly." Mom suggested as the tenth minute of waiting rolled around.

"And not cook breakfast? Iggy loves to cook. Someone kidnapped him. I'm convinced."

I got up and started to pace. Wait a minute!

I ran out of the front door to check for evidence in front of Iggy's window, when…. I'm not going to say it.

So, what's brown, and sticky, and smells bad, and makes everyone pissed off? No, it's not melted chocolate.

Oh how I _wish _it was melted chocolate.

I don't think I've ever wished for something more than I was now because when I stepped in it, I slipped and fell… in more of it. And it was in the mud.

I got up and looked up at Fang, a plea in my eyes, but his were the size of volley balls. Nudge was hunched over; she was laughing so hard that no sound came out, when she landed too. Fang looked like he wanted to die. He needed to die.

Gazzy was screaming with laughter, careful to land on the porch. Ella had tears rolling down her face. I extended one sticky hand – smelly and muddy – towards Fang. He eyed it carefully and then burst out laughing. Nudge and I looked at each other, and Nudge seemed on the brink of tears.

Once again, we were nowhere near saving Iggy, and with my flock acting the way they were, we were never going to save him.

* * *

"Iggy, how do I look?" One girl asked, worried.

"How would I know?!" Iggy growled in frustration.

"Oh, yeah. Do you love me?!" The girl suddenly demanded.

Iggy jumped. Well, he was still tied up, so he startled. "NO! Hell no! Now let me out of here!"

"Denial is just a river in Egypt." She sang. "You know you love me."

"This is sick!"

No," another girl disagreed. "Sick would be us asking for you to let us—"

"No Kathrin, don't be a pervert." The first girl scolded.

"She can't help it." A deeper voice chimed in.

"Wait," Iggy held up his untied arm. "Is that…?" Iggy was disgusted at the fact that a guy might be one of the Fan Girls.

"Who Derrick? Yeah, he's my older brother. He told me about Fang's blog." Kathrin spoke up.

The Derrick guy walked closer to Iggy and leaned down. "Don't worry man, my sister's a psycho."

"DON'T WORRY?"

"No, they should be in school right now. When I get them out of here, I'll let you lose. Tell the Flock and get out of this place." Then he shouted, "Kathrin, you're late! Hurry up and get out of here."

Iggy could hear Kathrin and her "friends" running back down the stairs. "Derrick, come here for a minute."

And then Derrick was tied up next to Iggy.

Kathrin and the Fan Girls spent the rest of the day sitting and staring at Iggy. Even though he was blind, Iggy could _feel _their hungry gazes on him.

"Can you break the restraints?" Derrick asked Iggy.

"No, they're too hard."

"No such thing as too hard!" Kathrin chimed in with a smile in her voice.

Iggy sighed at her wrongness. "See, Kathrin?"

"Yes?" She sounded overjoyed to hear Iggy directly addressing her.

"You can't speak wrong if you _aren't _wrong. Get what I'm saying?" _I can't believe I'm teaching people how to be wrong. _"Like if you say, 'there's no such thing as too hard', you have to add something else to it.

"So, if I say, 'don't unplug _that_ cord,' then I have to add something else?" Kathrin sounded really confused.

"No, that's wrong enough."

"But—"

"No, that's enough. You aren't worthy of lessons from the Igster."

And Kathrin started to cry. "No, wait don't cry!" Iggy tried. He was trying to comfort the people that kidnapped him.  
Suddenly, the restraints on his wrists popped off.

Iggy jumped up and snapped out his wings, running up the stairs and hopping out of the window.

"If you want some, now you know where to get it!" Kathrin yelled after Iggy.

And you know what? Iggy felt sorry for that Derrick guy.

**so the next chapter is about Fang's perils. My brother was trying to come up with ideas for this and here's the type of stuff he came up with:**

**Max goes missing, and Fang finds out that she's cheating**

**Fang cuts out on Max and she get's someone else. (he hasn't read the books yet)**

**I had to tell him that this wasn't a romantic drama, and I had to explain who Dylan was and why he wasn't in this story. **

**Tell me what ****_you _****think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**No one has had enough sympathy to allow me to just write. Be thankful I got this chapter out when I did. **

**And right now, my nose feels like its dying. I don't know if it's broken or not – I ran into a wall while escaping embarrassment, like I think my MOM knows who I like – and I really don't want to have to wear one of those plastic face-mask thingies. I don't want to be ugly…er!**

**Thanks to Randomsarcasam42! I might use your ideas, but I need to figure out a saying to go with them. **

**Any other reviewers, I love you! Thank you!**

**Okay, so here's the schedule:**

**Now: Fang gets pulled over and locked up **

**Next: Max and Fang switch bodies**

**After: Max goes through the unthinkable**

**Later: Nudge gives Max a makeover**

**After Later: Nudge gets a crush on Fang**

**After That: Max attempts to cook**

**If anyone has a suggestion for a saying to go with one, please tell me! Please, no more suggestions without sayings behind them! I'm getting overwhelmed. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride nor do I own One Direction (That's what makes you beautiful). And the part with the "La's"? I got every single one, so ha! Well, I don't remember if there's a second round of "La's" or not, so someone needs to tell me. I don't listen to One Direction that much. **

**Have any of you read "The Chronicles of Dylan the Lamp", by drawnoflife? It's hilarious. **

Locked Up

Chapter 4: Wat'cha gonna do when they come for you?

It was just the flock, Total, Akila, and Magnolia, home alone and starving. Ella was at school, Iggy was still recovering from being kidnapped, Gazzy decided to impersonate One Direction, much to Nudge's glee and Max's despair.

"That's what makes you beautiful! La… la, la, la… la, la, la… la-la-la. La… la, la, la, la—la." Then, in a much quieter voice, he continued, "Baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed," Gazzy leaned in Max's face and puckered his cheeks in. "But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell you don't know-oh-oh!" Then Nudge and Gazzy both started to blast the next line out when Iggy put both of his hands over their mouths. "Bats, butt, bakes, boo, buu-i-fel!"

Max and Fang were sitting on the sofa, Max's head in Fang's lap and both of their stomachs sounding like murders.

"I can't take this anymore!" Max shouted, jumping up. "Fang, go to the store and get some food!"

"Why can't we just order pizza?" Iggy asked.

"Do you guys not remember? The pizza parlor won't deliver to us anymore because the last time they came, you all tackled them."

"Oh, yeah." Fang sighed.

"Can't we just fly out there and pick it up?" Iggy asked another question. He always wanted to take the easy way out of things.

"No, because we can't fly with pizzas. You guys know that." Max responded sounding exasperated. "The only option is for Fang to get in the flippin' car and drive there!" Dr. Martinez had two cars; one for work and one for random stuff that didn't involve being professional.

Fang stood up and walked out of the room without a word.

Fang didn't know how to drive. Well, he knew, but he really didn't know how to abide by the laws.

He yanked the seatbelt on angrily, shoved the key in the ignition, slammed his foot down on the brake, pulled off the emergency one, threw the car into drive, and peeled out of the drive way.

While mentally cursing Max, he made the left that he just _knew _would lead him to Mario's pizza parlor. Max _hated _it when he went to Mario's, because Gazzy always exploited his talent after digesting the hot-wing-pizza. Fang sped up.

And then he saw the blue and white lights of Arizona's finest flashing behind him. Well, he noticed a little too late, because he could see the cop pulling up faster and faster.

When he finally pulled over – sloppily – the police officer stormed up to his car window.

"Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?" Oh, like Fang hadn't heard _that _before.

"Um, fifty?"

"Yes, in a thirty-five zone. Can I see your license and registration?" The officer practically snarled at him.

"Oh…. Oops." Fang sighed.

"Sir, have you been drinking tonight?" The cop asked. It was twelve O'clock noon.

"Um, it's in the middle of the day. Have _you _been drinking?" Fang saw it as a perfectly reasonable question. And it wasn't like Fang looked any younger than sixteen either. The Flock all looked older than they actually were.

But the officer still asked Fang to step out of the car.

Fang towered over the slightly short male officer.

The officer made Fang recite his ABC's backwards – who can do that anyway? – and walk in a straight line. And then the officer made Fang take a breathalyzer. And then the officer snapped handcuffs around Fang's wrists.

"Sir, you failed the first test and you were driving without a license. I'm going to have to take you into custody."

The officer shoved Fang's head down and sat him in the back of the police car. "Hey, I still need to get pizza for my family!" Fang shouted to the front of the cruiser.

"Sorry kid, no can do."

"Can I at least call them?"

"When you get to the station."

Backup had come and were driving Dr. M's car behind the cruiser. She was going to kill Fang.

"Dude, my mom's going to kill me!" Fang tried. Dr. M _was _going to kill Fang, but once it passed his lips, he knew that he was completely destroying every boundary of wrongness ever put up.

"You should have thought about that before you tried to drive." The officer snarled.

Fang was tired of acting like a regular teenager. He stood up as much as the car would allow and started to stretch out his wings slightly.

But they pulled into the station right then.

"Kid, what are you doing?!" Another officer shouted. Fang folded in his wings before anyone could see and walked into the station.

Inside of the jail cell, there was a guy.

Surprising right?

But get this; the guy was the creep that they had met in the subway tunnels of New York, and later in California. He looked up at Fang. "Hey! Fangster, still going at it?"

"Is it messed up that I took that wrong?"

The guy looked at him. "Nah, not really. Wha'tcha do to get yourself in here?"

"What did you do?"

"Now I know."

They sat there for a while. Then, an officer with a serious Hitler-stache walked up. Fang looked up at him. "So, Beer-Belly, when do I get my phone call?"

"Whenever you wanna follow the instructions." The guy drawled in a noticeable southern accent. Oh lord, Fang had enough of serious accents.

"So I need to be polite?" Fang asked.

"Yes."

Fang sang in a southern twang, "Honey doll, may I please have my phone call? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

Beer-Belly's face turned bright red. Fang smirked. "You might not want to do that." He said in his regular voice. "That's not a good color for you."

Beer-Belly slammed a wireless phone through the bars and stormed off, his stomach at full jiggletude.

The computer guy snickered and Fang started dialing the home number. Max answered.

"Hello?"

"Max, hey, guess where I am."

"Not getting the pizza and letting us starve?! I think Gazzy just passed out, Fang! What is wrong with you?!"

"I got locked up."

"Who car-, what? Oh, cool! What'd the officer say about the wings?"

"No, they actually got me behind bars." Fang sighed, looking at the wall.

Max gasped. "So, who did you kill?"

"You know what, Max? I'm going to kill you if you don't come and bail me!" Fang was seriously kidding, but Max didn't pick up on that over the phone.

"I see how it is." Max said, her voice like ice. Fang could hear Nudge in the background. She was still at her constant chatter, but it was kind of slow.

"What, Fang said he was going to kill you? Oh, I took that wrong because when I was playing on the Sims, my sim died because she was sleeping around too much when I wasn't paying attention. Do you know what it said? It said, 'your sim woo-hoo–ed to death'! And, murmurhwoeou!" Someone had obviously smothered Nudge.

Then, Gazzy's voice was in the phone, and Max's angry protests were barely making it past all of the noise in the background. "Fang, don't do that to Max. You know what Dr. M said about new residents!"

"I wanna be the uncle!" Iggy shouted.

Well, they were energetic for people who claimed to be starving.

Fang sighed and hung up on them. He dialed Dr. M's number, prepared for the worst.

"Hello?" Dr. M picked up the phone.

Fang prepared himself for the worst possible awkward moment in the history of the world.

"Um, yeah, it's Fang."

"Oh, hi Fang. What's up?"

"I got arrested." Short and simple.

"FOR WHAT?" Dr. M blasted into the phone.

"Um, driving?"

"Fang, I told you not to …. And… while…" Fang zoned out of Dr. M's speech until he heard, stay, away, and Max in one sentence. "I can't have my daughter, who has been on the run, be corrupted by someone else who has been on the run with her? What drove you to…." Fang zoned out again.

"Dr. M, can you just get me out of here. All we wanted was some pizza, and Max forced me to get in the car and drive."

Dr. M sighed. "I'm on my way."

* * *

I sighed, hanging up the phone. Nudge, Gazzy, Iggy, Ella, and Angel were all arguing.

"I think she should name it after me." Angel tried.

"No, but what if it's a guy. Name it, 'IgNuGaAnEl'!" Gazzy shouted. "It can be a both name!"

"That's so messed up!" Ella protested. "We don't want to ruin its social life!"

"We don't have social lives, so why should it?" Nudge said, shrugging.

Iggy looked up from concentration. "Name it, 'Fax'."

Everyone looked at me. "What? I'm not flipping pregnant! I'm not!"

Then, my mom walked in the room, Fang in tow. "I hope you're not. This – this delinquent doesn't get entertainment rights for a month." My mom stated. "No laptop, no TV, no anything." My mom said, sending a glare at me.

Yep, we all know what kind of entertainment my mom was talking about. How many times do I have to say 'It's not like that!' for it to start sinking in?!

**So, how did I do? I'm looking for twenty-two reviews! Y'all can do it! **

**Some commentary: With the Mario's pizza thingie, I'm a New Yorker. We pronounce Mario like Mare and then IO. So…. And we place odd inflictions on our vowels. Especially our "O"s. **

**And also, we talk and yell during movies. Heads up. **

**So, the snozz isn't broken. I'm all good. **

**If anyone has an saying to go with the story ideas, please let me know! **


	5. Chapter 5

**So, right now, I have Max and Fang switching bodies. I really didn't know how to make this realistic, but when I saw the idea, I almost died of laughter, thinking about all of the things I could make the Flock say about it.**

**I started writing this with sad thoughts in my mind. I had an idea for a book I could write, and it's about this really smart girl who attempts suicide for the greater good of science. It's sci-fi. **

**Here's the schedule:**

**Now: Max and Fang switch bodies**

**Next: Max experiences the unthinkable**

**After: Nudge gives Max a makeover**

**Later: Nudge gets a crush on Fang**

**After that: Max attempts to cook **

**Thanks TheNudgeChanel(MaximumAngel1) for the sayings! I couldn't thank you more!**

**I'm trying to write these within a reasonable time frame, but there's only so much I can do. But as long as I keep getting suggestions, this story will never end! Yay! I love it when I always have ideas. I hate writer's blocks. **

**And I can't figure out how to stop starting my sentences with "so". Bad habit, I guess.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride **

To Pervert Life

Chapter 5: Freaky Friday

Ever wonder what it's like to wake up in a different body? Well it sucks. Don't dream of it, don't think of it, and don't even allow it to enter your subconscious.

And you know that saying, "Life sucks, and then you die"? Well, maybe it makes more sense to say, "Life sucks, you get stuck in your boyfriend's body, and then you die." Because, you know, it suites me better. Change sayings to make them fit your life.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade that is so flippin' sour that you die. Because life didn't give you sugar, a spoon, or a pitcher.

But, let me back up a little. Like, to how the heck I ended up in this crappy situation.

This is how my Friday – poor Friday – morning was killed. And it's all Angel's fault.

* * *

"Max!" Gazzy yelled down the hallway.

"Yeah?" I called back.

"Not you Fang, Max." What?

"What are you talking about?" I asked. Gazzy walked into the room.

"Fang, you've been spending too much time with Max. You have Max to self identity problems. She's probably made you one of her Max minions and you didn't know." And I looked around. And I screamed.

See, Fang doesn't really show that much emotion, so screaming in his voice scared the living daylights out of Gazzy.

"Whoa Fang, found a roach?" Iggy called.

"No, stubbed my toe." Fang should be glad I was covering for him.

"Ha, the great Fang won't even flinch when presented with death, but he screams like girls at a Justin Beiber concert when he stubs his toe. How manly, I'm sure Max will love it." Iggy shouted back.

I picked my way out of his room, feeling weird with the different weight. It was strange, and it felt like his feathers were softer. I thought he said that he didn't use products on his wings.

I slipped into my own room to see me/Fang sitting up on the bed, looking extremely confused.

"How do you live with these things? They're too heavy!" Fang's/my eyebrows furrowed.

"Fang, that's what a bra's for. Now how the hell did this happen?!" I screeched, making Fang's voice crack.

"Don't do that. I want my voice when I get back in my body."

"This is flippin' retarded. I just know Angel's behind this." I was practically steaming. Then I thought about something. If I was in Fang's body, with my iron will, I was invincible!

"No, you're not, Max." Angel said, strolling past the room causally. "Because Fang has your abilities and you have his. You're still the same."

My eyes flashed and Angel flinched. I guess I could at least be scarier in Fang's body. "Angel, what did you do?"

"I was trying out my mind reading, and I accidently switched you and Fang's consciousness. I can't figure out how to get it back because it was an accident." Her large blue eyes looked up at me, giving me Bambi eyes. I put my hand up to shield my eyes.

"Ange, just go figure out how to get us back in our bodies."

"Okay Fan—Max."

I turned to me/Fang sitting on my bed. "You need to make me look presentable, or I will kill you."

I marched back to Fang's room and started digging around for clothes. I grabbed a pair of loose fitting black jeans, a black shirt, and a black and grey jacket. Fang had me wearing a pair of blue jeans and a white shirt. The only problem was that he put on a white bra under the white shirt.

Oh lord this sounds so strange.

"No! You have to put a black bra under a white shirt! Max, I thought you knew that!" Nudge came barreling past me and into my room. She shoved Fang/me back into my room and I heard some shuffling.

It dawned on me. Fang was in my body, and he had to dress _my body_! Oh god, help me.

My mom walked out of her room, looking sleepy.

"Good morning, Fang."

I started mentally flipping out. My mom didn't know that we were switched. "Um, good morning."

Mom sent me a strange look. Maybe Fang _didn't _talk to her in the mornings. How rude.

At the breakfast table, life was looking bleak.

"So kids, since I have today off, is there anything you want to do today?" Mom asked, looking around the table. Angel, Fang/me, and I were all looking strained.

"I wanna go to the park!" Nudge shouted.

"But if we go, you guys can't fly because it'll be too crowded."

"How about the mall?" Ella asked.

"That's a good idea. Max?" I was about to open my mouth to respond when Fang caught me. It was so strange, looking at me outside of me.

"I guess."

My mom looked at me. "Fang?"

I nodded my head so slightly; it barely looked like I was moving. Man, being Fang was so hard!

* * *

For now on, whenever I say, "Fang," I mean Fang in my body. Whenever I say "me", I mean me in Fang's body. Just… it's really confusing me and Angel.

We all hopped out of the car in front of the mall with various levels of enthusiasm.

Fang and I stood next to each other, walking slowly behind everyone else. It was so strange, towering over everyone… save for Iggy, of course.

When we walked up to everyone else, my mom was giving instructions. "Max, you're in charge of Nudge and Angel. Fang, you're in charge of Iggy and Gazzy."

"You say that as if Fang's anymore mature than me." Iggy said, sarcasm lacing his voice.

"No, I just want Fang there incase anything happens."

Uh oh. Time to spill it, Angel.

"Um, Dr. M?"

"Yes, Angel?"

"I – I accidentlyswitchedMaxandFang 'smindsandnowtheirineachoter'sbodies."

"Um, huh?" Mom asked as Angel spilled the beans.

"Mom." I said. She looked at me in shock. "I'm Max, that's Fang. Angel switched our minds with one of her tricks, and she can't figure out how to put us back."

"Kids, this isn't a good joke to play."

"No really," Fang said. "Dr. M, when I was locked up, you said, 'I can't have my daughter, who has been on the run, be corrupted by someone else who has been on the run with her? What drove you to', and then I zoned out."

"That doesn't help." I said to Fang.

"Who cares? It's information that only Dr. M and I know."

"But you could have told me. We need something else." I thought. "Maybe…."

"I know!" Iggy said. "I don't believe either of you, but Fang, what did you say about Max yesterday?"

"Wait what?" I asked.

"Fang, what did you say about Max? Remember when we were talking about things that we would never tell anyone?"

"Well," Fang spoke up. "You said that you would never tell Ella that she has a continuous back." It was strange hearing Fang say that about my sister while using my voice.

Ella was severely offended. "What does that mean?"

Fang snorted, but it was my snort. "It means that Iggy thinks that you are lacking a proper butt."

I laughed and everyone still looked at me. Like, just because Fang didn't laugh didn't mean that I couldn't. Gosh.

"Max! How did you know that?!"

"Like I said, I'm Fang."

Now people in front of the mall were looking at us funny.

They needed to mind their own business.

"Okay, get back in the car." My mom said, ushering us towards the mini-van.

When we sat in the car, my mom went off. "What is the meaning of this? How did this happen?"

"Well," I started. "Angel told us that she was practicing her mind reading and she accidently switched our minds. Don't know how it happened, it just did."

"So, Max?"

"Yeah?" I said.

"Oh this is so strange. It sounds like I'm talking to Fang. You're stuck in Fang's body?"

"Yep. I'm not so thrilled either."

"Fang?" My mom said.

"Yeah?" Fang answered in my voice.

"Angel, you need to fix this, now."

* * *

So, sitting on the sofa at home, we were all stuck doing nothing. But as it got later, and I could feel exhaustion setting in, I did not want to go to sleep. Not with the strange feeling that came with being Fang. It was like his body was trying to get me to stand still for extended periods of time.

We were sprawled out on the sofa, trying to get used to our new… vessels... and eating pizza.

"I ate like twelve pieces of pizza and I'm still starving! What is wrong with your stomach?" I shouted at Fang.

"What's wrong with yours? I can barely get this slice down!" Fang was sitting there, looking green around the gills as he was _attempting _to eat another slice of pizza.

"Don't kill me! If my stomach can't take it, my stomach can't take it! Don't blow me up!"

"If I blow you up, I blow me up. I don't want to die in your body."

I growled. "If you die in my body, I'm going to be stuck in yours. Think about others."

"You know what?" Iggy said, plopping down next to Fang/me. "How the heck are you going to have little birdies if you never get back to your own bodies?"

I brought my hand up to my eyes. "Iggy, why do you find it necessary to be wrong in every waking moment of your life?"

"The fact that I'm a guy entitles me to do so. Trust me, you don't want to know the stuff that Fang says when you're not around."

I shot a glare at Fang/me and Fang / I said, "Wow, I can be scary. Max, hey, Max, you okay?"

No, I wasn't okay. I had to use the restroom.

"Um… I have to…." Iggy's eyes widened as he noticed the dilemma.

"Oh, um…." Fang said, unsure of how to respond.

Fang and I stared at each other, unsure of what to do. The corners of his/my mouth twitched up slightly.

Then, an immense pain unlike any I've ever felt before entered my brain. And I wasn't sitting on the sofa anymore. I was standing up, staring at Fang who was in his own body.

"Thank goodness!" I sighed, stretching. Fang's strained look almost sent me into hysterics.

"Max, sh—how did you hold this in?!"

**So, I got this chapter out late, I know, but I just started Naruto Shippuden, and I want to die. It's already amazing! **


	6. Chapter 6

**So, I got an amazing amount of reviews, so I love you all! **

**peanutbuttre7: Okay, I love your idea, but I was going to make this chapter similar, but it didn't get far. I might just put it in a separate one-shot**

**Feather Tipped: Thanks for the ideas and the reviews! I'll see if I can squeeze them in.**

**All of my other reviewers, I love y'all! Thanks! I always laugh reading so many positive reviews! Not one negative!**

**Okay, I've gotten over seventy episodes into Shippuuden (Love it, and I already watched most of the movies with my little bro) and our state exams are coming around, so my time between reviews might be longer. **

**So, if this is late for an update, it's because I forgot Friday, and I had to stay at my grandma's house which has no internet connection. I apologize. **

**Well, about people who keep PMing me and refusing to review (Seriously, you got a problem, put it in a review!), this particular person was asking about why I could type in English so well and I answered politely, "English is my first language, and Japanese is my choice for a second. I'm not Japanese and I am nowhere near fluent, but I would like to understand the language and the culture." Someone didn't read the profile correctly! **

**This is going to be a short chapter. As unlikely as it may seem, humor is not my strong point. I usually write deep stuff, fighting, or adventure. I ****_really _****suck as straight romance. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or One Direction or Harry Styles. Anyone offended by things said about One Direction or Harry Styles, please suck it up. This is a humor story. I have to make fun of ****_someone!_**

**Say what?!**

**Chapter 6: Caught in a bad romance.**

Iggy, Gazzy, and Fang had all gone to the store, so that left me with Nudge and Angel.

"Max, I have a problem." Nudge said quietly, sitting next to me.

"What?" I asked, trying to smooth her poofy hair down.

"I like someone, but I know there is no way in the world that he would like me back, and I just can't help it, you know?" Nudge had giant Bambi eyes, except they were staring out into space and not directly at me. Thank god.

"Love hurts." I agreed shortly, staring avidly at a sofa commercial. This wasn't a subject that was within my range of expertise. She probably was yearning for Harry Styles, and, unlike other pre-teenage girls, knew that there was no way that he even knew that she existed. At least Nudge was in touch with reality and not all, "I'm going to marry One Direction!" One Direction is made up of four British guys and one Irish guy, and is completely unattractive to me.

"No, Max, you don't get it." Of course I wouldn't get it. Once again, I specialize in fighting and leading, not mushy romance. I'm just glad that Fang realizes that.

"I guess not."

Angel skipped in the room and flopped in my lap. "Nudge likes Fang." Angel said shortly.

I _wanted _to jump up in outrage, but that wasn't my job. My job wasn't to make Nudge feel bad by saying, "Well too bad. He's mine!"

So instead, I gave Nudge a quick hug. "Oh, you'll get over it."

"No Max, she's liked Fang since the beginning of her time." Angel chirped. I mentally face-palmed. This wasn't working.

"So, like, like, or like…?" I asked.

Nudge just looked at me. "Like, Like."

Fang strolled in the room and sat on the other side of me. He patted Angel on the head and gave me a quick kiss. I could feel Nudge seething with jealousy.

Nudge got up and stomped off. But of course, in romance movies, the other girl always grins in victory and everyone lives happily ever.

My life isn't a romance movie, and I you thought that, you're better off reading Twilight.

"Wargh!" Nudge screamed.

Fang, Angel, and I all jumped up in surprise. The foyer was full of Erasers.

We launched into battle, fending off terrible smelling Erasers. Then, Gazzy emerged out of the crowd.

"What are you three _doing?_" He shouted. There was an Eraser right next to him!

"Gazzy!" Fang shouted. "Get over here!"

Angel laughed and an Eraser ran directly at Nudge.

"Nudge!" Fang shouted again. He decked the Eraser and grabbed Nudge. And I swear, she looked up at him with shining eyes. He dropped her like a rock.

"You guys, and I thought an Eraser fight would bring everyone together." Iggy said sarcastically, strolling through an Eraser. "But you had them fooled. Keep working on it."

Angel smiled. "Thanks, Iggy."

"Um, what?" I asked.

"I've been working on creating Illusions that look the same to a group of people." She said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

* * *

The sun was streaming through my curtains as I stared lazily at the ceiling. Everyone was bothering me about Angel's little trick yesterday.

Iggy and Angel were plotting (for my sake) to make Nudge realize that there was no point in liking Fang. The previous plan (the Erasers) didn't work, for obvious reasons.

But Nudge had taken a new liking in rock music. And there lay our answer.

Gazzy would impersonate one of her favorite bands on the phone, telling her that they would come for a personal concert. Then, Angel would use her transformation powers to change to look like one of them. Once she looked like someone Nudge would actually listen to, she would get the message through subtly.

Our plan was flawless and Fang was still clueless.

But when I walked into the kitchen, I knew something was off.

"Heh, heh, heh, that's what she said!" I could Gazzy and his creepy laugh floating in towards me.

Who corrupted my little boy? Fang and Iggy were going to get it.

I slipped myself behind the wall near the kitchen door and leaned in slightly, just enough to hear their conversation.

"Gazzy, shut up." I heard Nudge growl. "This isn't funny."

"It's hilarious. Plus, Dr. M said that she was going to kill Fang. We _have _to see this." I could practically imagine Gazzy with a flashlight under his chin in a dark room.

"About what?" Nudge asked quietly. They obviously thought I was out with Iggy, Fang, and Angel.

"She thinks that he's going to hurt Max. You know, since _everyone _knows that you like Fang, Dr. M thinks that he's going to ditch her. Since you… you know… have more curves." Gazzy made a curvy motion with his hands.

"How did she think that? Did someone say something to her?"

"She overheard Fang and Iggy." Gazzy started impersonating Iggy.

"'Yeah man, but don't you think Max is lacking in the… department.' And then Fang punched Iggy." Gazzy started coping Fang. "'I kind of see what you mean.'" Gazzy switched back to Iggy.

"' Yeah, she doesn't have the bang that Nudge has. I mean, even Ella lacks.'"

There was a smacking sound.

Did Fang really think _Nudge _had more curves than me?

Oh my gawd, what was happening to me? Was I turning into one of those overly sensitive girls?

My self-esteem took a serious hit just then. Seriously. _Someone was going to pay. _

Angel was in the living room, her face flushed. Iggy and Fang were flying in right now. I went to sit next to Angel. She looked up at me apologetically.

Fang came and sat next to me. I got up and sat on the other side of Angel. Poor Angel was stuck in the crossfire.

My glare was dangerous enough to conquer a small country full of Fang-like citizens. But, Fang-like citizens wouldn't be any fun. They'd all stand around, blending into stuff and making their girlfriends angry.

But then, my mother walked in. Her glare was even more murderous than my own.

Fang was in some deep s** and Nudge was definitely going to take the hit.

**To be continued…**

**So, honestly, it took me forever to write this pathetic chapter. Then next one is going to be the continuation of this one. I WANT THIRTY-FIVE REVIEWS, OR I WILL GO INNER-KYLA ON EVERYONE! Ha-ha, Naruto joke. **

**I learned something, though. All of these story requests are actually slowing me down. When I write for myself (Like the hilarious first two chapters) they come out really good. When I write for others, it slows me down and they're strained. **

**But do not fret! I will try my best (gambare ne!) to finish these! Believe it! (Dattebayo!) **


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, FAX fans, do not fret! I am NOT writing FUDGE! Only FAX and EGGY are coming from this girl. **

**So, I'm still watching Shippuuden(I'm somewhere in the 140-155 zone depending on when I publish this chapter), so update times will be shortened. And state exams are next week!**

**Peanutbuttre7: Okay, I'm writing as fast as my fingers will allow. Please, don't Maka chop me. Save those for Soul when Blair's around.**

**This isn't humor as much as Max and Nudge with their sisterly bond. Something I would know nothing about because I have a younger brother. **

**ULTRA SHORT CHAPTER! I'm so sorry. But Itachi and Sasuke are about to fight, and I can-not miss this! (Naruto Shippuuden). **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride**

Chapter 7: Still caught in a bad romance.

I never knew that my mother was so protective of me. I always knew that she cared about me, but I didn't know her defense for me was so strong, even if it was false defense. Like what was happening now….

"Well, _Fang, _I think this whole thing has gotten out of hand." My mother scolded; her hands on her hips.

"Dr. Martinez, I know you're mad at me, but why?" Fang asked, his expression really didn't change.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" She flung her arms over her head in random directions. "I can't have you sitting here tempting Max _and _Nudge."

Fang cracked a smirk. "Well, I can't really help who I tempt, now can I?"

I giggled slightly, but when I caught my mom's glare, I smothered it. The result was a twisted up look on my face. I was seriously struggling – don't get me wrong – to not laugh.

Nudge walked in the room. "Seriously Gazzy, I _will _kill you." She growled dangerously. But from what I could see, her wings – sticking out slightly from her shirt – were very dark. They looked slightly like Fang's….

I couldn't take it anymore. Laughter ripped out from my lungs, threatening to topple me over.

She spun on me. "_This isn't funny!" _

"I know." I choked out. "Sorry." I stood up and got serious. Fang realized the look on my face and managed to slip out of the room before Mom could say anything.

I sat down on the sofa. "Nudge." I said. She sat down next to me. "Nudge, there's always someone out there. I'm absolutely sure you'll find the one for you."

She looked forlorn and I kept going. "You'll know. And don't feel bad about what Iggy and Gazzy say. Just remember, only girls can understand stuff, and sometimes only guys can understand." She just looked at me. I needed to clarify.

"What I mean is: Sometimes, Angel, Ella, or I will understand your problems. But also Fang, Gazzy, or Iggy might understand more than anyone. There are times when one side might understand, or neither side will."

She just stared at me now.

I tried again. "No matter how they tease you, Gazzy and Iggy love you as a sister. Fang loves you as a sister. Ella and Angel love you as a sister. I love you as if you were my daughter. Mom does too. So Nudge, don't get depressed over a little crush!"

She sniffled. I was getting the hang of this. "Don't confuse your love for Fang as a crush. It's just sibling love. A week from now, you'll be screaming how much you hate him because he won't let you use Ella's laptop. You'll yell, "You hog! What does Max see in you?!" And he'll just walk away. Because that's how our Flock plus Total, Ella, and Mom, works."

Nudge's eyes steeled to their usual intensity. "You know what, Max. You're right. But," she stood up. Her wings stretched out before me.

"They're black. THIS SUCKS!" And I had to dig deep within myself. I found it.

"Nudge, black goes with everything. Don't worry."

She smiled, and I sighed.

Whenever I reassure the Flock, I reassure myself.

**I feel terrible right now. Like, I published this fail of a chapter. But it was an add-on from the other chapter, so it doesn't really count. Sorry no FAX, but I wanted to kind of bring Max and Nudge's sisterly relationship to the surface. Don't worry, if I can think of something funny before I start the next chapter, there won't be another gooey relationship thing.**


	8. Chapter 8

**So, I just realized I skipped the whole, Nudge gives Max a makeover. That's what this one's going to be. I'm **

**And my fingers feel like jelly, so if there are any typos that either the spell check or I don't catch, please forgive me. **

**To peanutbuttre7 and MaximumAngel1, thank you for being so supportive. Court-san, you're always supportive. Thanks! **

**Peanutbuttre7: I love it when a fellow SE fan shows up under a category completely unrelated. But from the pen-name, you can tell I love Black*Star, especially when he's being godly :D**

**Okay, I have, what, 38 reviews? So, the 50****th ****reviewer will get a prize! (Yeah, I know I skipped the whole 40 thing, but 40 isn't a milestone. 50 is). **

**Okay, so I haven't really decided ****_what _****the prize will be yet. I'm thinking maybe a chapter in his or her honor? Maybe a free chapter that no one else will get to read? How about early chapter, maybe like one a week or so before I publish? I'll think of something that works for me. **

**I cannot believe state exams are right here! And after that, eighth grade ahead! I feel amazing right now. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride**

**This may be a chaotic chapter since I can't really concentrate. I just bought a whole bunch of Home Made Kazoku songs, and I'm seriously trying to interpret them while writing this. **

**The more I look at "please" the less it looks like, "please." Try it. Then try to read Kanji. You ****_will _****die.**

Chapter 8: Maximum Barbie

Trouble in Barbie Paradise

So, ulterior motives. I mean, what's with those things? Who runs around doing underhanded things anymore anyway?

And with hidden motives, the cover-up isn't always as clean as the person perceives it to be. I discovered this by watching Fang.

Usually, when a flock member thinks Fang is doing something suspicious, that member either keeps his or her mouth shut, or comes to me. That's because the only thing higher than a beta is an alpha. Fang usually isn't suspicious.

So, here's how it works. Max: Alpha. Fang: Beta. Iggy: Gamma. Nudge: Delta. Alpha is confused because Beta is being a weirdo along with Delta, but Gamma doesn't know because he can't see their suspicious actions.

Ulterior motives. Who needs them?

And there's a reason that I went through the whole, "levels of power" thing and tied it into the whole "underhanded motives" thing.

When beta and delta decide to make alpha angry, it usually works.

* * *

"Max, please?"

"No."

"PLEASE?" Nudge was right in my face.

"No, and the more you ask, the more I will want to say no."

"Max." Fang's voice spoke from behind me.

"NO! No, Fang, no, Nudge!"

Fang leaned up so that his lips were about a half inch away from my ear. Dark and mysterious, he whispered, "please?"

Oh, how I wanted to say, "YES!" Instead I said, "Oh heck no! Stop asking me!"

Fang sighed. "I guess we'll have to do this the hard way." He reached over the sofa and grabbed under my arms. Before I could scream, he clamped his hand over my mouth and scooped me up.

Really, how does this happen when I'm _not _standing in a dark alleyway undefended. Ha, you get it, 'cause I'm not going to say it.

But Nudge was here! She wasn't going to let this happen, was she?! No, because this was her idea.

They threw me down in the reclining chair in the basement and Fang proceeded to strap me to the chair.

So they already had a torture room set up for me. Fang stood next to me, stoic and unmoving.

Nudge smiled and disappeared in the basement bathroom. Fang locked the door to the stairs.

Nudge reappeared with a hairdryer.

And a flat iron.

And a curling iron.

And a bag of makeup.

And nail polish.

They were going to kill me! Slowly and painfully, I might add. My hands curled automatically around the arms of the chair.

They needed to get their sick torture devices away from me.

"Fang, knock her out." Nudge ordered. And everything faded, but in my head, I could still see the bottles of nail polish sitting at my feet."

* * *

This was my come-back. Footsteps angry on the pavement. Branches worrying away at feathers caught in them.

"There are going to be some risks, you ready to take 'em on?"

Curled hair riding the wind. Mascara smudging from the morning dew. Black and red nails ready to tear apart anyone in the way.

"Yeah."

Blond hair spiked up with too much gel. Fashionable leather jacket opened.

"Let's do this." Iggy said to me. He was a victim of Ella and Gazzy while I had fallen prey to Nudge and Fang.

"Anything to get them back!" We both shouted, raising our fists to the sky.

Black feathers raining down, their owner speeding to make his escape. He wasn't fast enough.

**To be continued, but not in the next chapter!**

**So, I know how much y'all hate "To be continued" but I really was struggling to write this, the funniness is failing and I really need to cram for state exams. I ****_will _****make the next chapter funny. The chapter after that will be the continuation of this one, however.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, so state exams (CRCT) are over. But here I am, left with no inspiration. So with this lapse in motivation, I will come back with this chapter, full of plotting, chaos, and completely messed up awkward moments.**

**No one will read this and emerge alive.**

**Nah, JK. But really, I'm exhausted and Naruto Shippuden is making me angry because the bad guys have so many powers, it's just unfair. I started this chapter on about April 26****th****. Yeah, that's how long it's been taking me. I'm sorry if you've been waiting for too long to read this. I'll have a summer fest with new chapters on the twenty first of May. Because that's my birthday. And the next day is the last day of school and the final exams. Yay. (note: the sarcasm in that one word should be enough to take over a small country.)**

**The May one will be the flock goes on Family Feud. Yep, they meet Steve Harvey. And the prize for the fiftieth reviewer will be the Flock goes Christmas shopping. But, of course, I'll publish that later in life. Just, the fiftieth gets it ULTRA early. I kind of have a feeling it'll either be MaximumAngel1, peanutbuttre7, or ElectroNerd. If it's a guest, I'll do the fifty first reviewer.**

**Then, I want to write another chapter that has something to do with bands and guitars.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride **

**I have a good feeling about this! I have to get back into the swing of writing long chapters. In the book I'm writing, making the chapters longer is really paying off when it comes to detail. I want it to be very descriptive when it comes to the content and the characters, so this is practice. Enjoy!**

Chapter 9: Stupid bar- code scanner!

You only live once… unless you believe in reincarnation.

A day in the life of Maximum Ride.

Sounds like a good start, right? Catchy, promising. But it wouldn't have all of the glory as, I don't know, The Angel Experiment. Not only does it have a catchy name, but it highlights one of the many amazing and action packed adventures that we – the flock – have experienced.

So, this isn't The Angel Experiment. This is A Day in the Life of Maximum Ride. Because the one element that this one has, that The Angel Experiment didn't have, is shopping at the mall with Nudge.

That's just how my life works.

According to Nudge, Angel, and sometimes the rest of the flock, I lack the ability to act like a normal girl.

I don't squeal – ick! – I don't fangirl – oh, the horror! – I don't flip out when I see a cute skirt – what's that? – and I like beating people up. Who would have ever thought?

"Max, why are you grumbling to yourself?" Gazzy asked from behind me. "Of course you don't like girl stuff. You're Max."

I turned slowly, letting him have a chance to interpret the anger rolling off of me.

"Max," he said earnestly. "Don't take it to heart. You can still produce more miniature Max-es to make us miserable and push us around. And based on the way things have been going, our flock of six might be a flock of ten pretty soon."

! He was… he was…!

"No, maybe one of them will come out normal." He thought for a moment. "Maybe it won't have wings. Then it'll wonder why its parents are weird."

"Gazzy!" Mom said, a purse in hand. "Well, all of you!" She shouted to the whole house. The flock reluctantly slouched into the room.

"I think it's time you get jobs." She said, looking around to us. "Ella, Iggy, Fang, Max, you all are about to turn sixteen. You can't just sit around here and eat up all of the food."

She then dismissed the younger kids, Nudge included. "Max, Fang, you are always boasting about how you two run the flock, but you aren't feeding them! They're eating up the food that I bought with my money. Normally, I would have no problem with it, but with the big temper tantrum Fang gave me the other day, that isn't the case anymore."

I was about to say something – concerning Fang's tantrum – but she kept talking.

"And you guys are almost adults. You have to provide for yourselves." From this day on, I'm giving you limited support. The younger kids will still be treated the same, but when Nudge turns fourteen, she's getting a job too."

We had no time to protest.

"Hey, Max, Fang! I just saw a job opening at Publix!" Nudge sang as she skipped up. "Here!" She practically shouted, shoving Ella's laptop in Fang's hands.

She fluttered away before we could stop her. The look on Fang's face was one of true terror. And the worst thing was, he had no way of getting out of this.

Mom had gotten him his license, and he was a good driver. He could always fly there – he was almost as fast as me when I used hyper-drive.

Ah yes, the glories of being an adolescent bird-kid.

* * *

He never actually _meant _it when he told Max that he should be the boss in the house. He was just joking, and Max totally knew it.

Dr. Martinez, however, didn't.

"Huh, Max, I totally saved _your _butt more times that you can probably even count. Maybe the flock needs a cool-headed leader for once." He had laughed.

She had punched him on the arm playfully and got up off the sofa.

And it was all just after her mom walked in.

"Fang, if you believe you're all that then shut up and work for yourself!" She had yelled.

His eyes narrowed. "I didn't mean it."

Dr. M had just walked away, muttering, "Why did my daughter have to pick such a loner?"

* * *

And now Fang was still grumbling to himself. "I'm not a loner."

"Ha!" I laughed. "You're totally a loner. Well, you'd be a loner if you didn't have me and Iggy."

"I'm seriously convinced you're emo, though." Iggy said slowly, plopping on the empty love seat and allowing his long legs to stretch over the arm.

"I'm not emo." Fang repeated for what had to be the one hundredth time.

"So if you're not," Iggy sang, "when you work at Publix, you'll greet customers with a smile!" That was followed by a large grin.

"I never said tha—"

"NO! If you get that stinkin' job at Publix, you are going to greet everyone with a smile and help elderly customers to their cars. And you're going to play with babies. Because that's how a good cashier is."

Fang's mouth was wide open in despair. He looked to me for help.

"No can do. I agree with Iggy."

Fang suddenly grinned. "Max, if you agree with Iggy, I'll tell the whole flock, Ella, and Dr. M about _that thing." _

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I would. I remember what you said exactly."

My face drained of color at his words. He wasn't going to. I knew he wouldn't do something like that to me. People make mistakes, okay?

But I kept my façade up. "So you're saying that you _are _emo, then. Since you don't want to hug babies and kindly help the elderly. And you don't want to smile. I know you can smile." I purred.

His face went from blank, to slightly surprised, to completely horrified, all in about five seconds. And to anyone else, his face would have stayed the same.

"So, here we stand. If a customer asks you to do the Harlem Shake butt naked, you have to do it. And that means _any _customer." Iggy said, crossing his arms behind his head.

Fang let out a deep breath. He looked at me. "Okay, so whoever can't play with babies," Oh lord it sounds so weird when he says it, "help the elderly, or smile, has to quit the job. Whoever has the job for the longest, wins."

He held out his hand to me, than Iggy. Unerringly, he shook it.

With Fang and his emo-ness, he would never be able to properly smile at a customer. He had a hard time smiling sincerely at me.

Iggy's blindness wouldn't allow him to tell if there was an elderly person in front of him or not. Unless the person spoke, he would never know.

But then there's Ella. She was added silently in this bet without her knowing. It was better that way.

Ha, I was totally going to win this.

* * *

The application was bull.

**How old are you? **How am I supposed to know?!

**What is your birth date? **Once again: How the heck am I supposed to know?!

**Where were you born? **Um, a laboratory?

**Do you work well with people? **Yeah, I totally don't suffer from paranoia. And I don't check to make sure that everyone's not an Eraser. Um, hum.

I slammed the laptop closed. Of course I wasn't going to put _those _answers. I put in what they wanted, of course.

But my pillow was calling. And I had left it in Fang's room. Ugh. I trudged across the hall and flopped down on his bed, ignoring his angry protests. I was out instantly. That was two weeks ago.

* * *

"Max, get up."

"I don't wanna."

Iggy laughed. "Heh."

"My stomach hurts." I moaned.

"Uh, huh. We all know why your stomach hurts, Max." Nudge sang. "I thought we told Fang to slow down."

I attempted to roll over. "And _I _thought I _clearly _said _no perverted jokes!_"

"Hey, hanging out with Iggy does that to you." Ella murmured, leaning against her door frame in her uniform.

Fang's arm was slung across the back of my neck, permanently holding me there. I was lying face down.

"Don't worry." Iggy said. "We won't tell Dr. M about this."

I felt Fang rumble next to me. "Ha, you better not, or I'll tell her about _that thing._"

"Since when do you black mail people, Fang?" Nudge asked. "I mean, you have something on all of us! It's not fair!"

I laughed. "No Nudge. I have something I know about him that will embarrass him for L.I.F.E."

His glare almost killed me, but I stood my ground. "Now, Fang, if you'll just get up and let me get my uniform. We're both going to be late. Don't wanna lose that bet, y'know?"

Once we were up and moving, Fang drove us all to the Publix around the corner. Fang, Ella, and I all had to ring up items. Iggy's job was to bag the items. We rotated out, and we were responsible with changing the music that played overhead.

None of us really understood Fang's taste in music. You would think he liked Three Days Grace and stuff, but it was apparent that he listened to Adam Young's Owl City also. I just threw in a random CD.

The store was relatively empty except for a slightly large family. They had seven kids, all ranging in different ages. The parents were really young and nonchalant. One of the kids ran up to Fang.

"You're hot." She said pointedly.

"You're not." He said quietly, looking her in the eye. She was about Nudge's age. Fang caught me and Ella looking at him. If he didn't smile soon, he would be out.

"No, I was just kidding. But I have a girlfriend." He said with a smile.

"Oh. Is she pretty?" The girl asked. Fang's eye twitched.

"Of course she is. She's over there." He gestured to me.

"No, she's not pretty." The girl stated and marched over to me. "He's a liar."

I wanted to strangle this little girl. She had TERRIBLE manners and her parents were standing _five feet _away from us!

"That's not nice." I said with a forced smile.

"But he is a liar! He said that you were pretty!"

I lost it.

"You! How the heck do you just sit here and let your children act like this!?" I flailed my arms in the air to show my general frustration. One of the younger boys was chewing on Fang's hand, and Fang was whacking the boy in the head trying to get him to let go.

The woman – who was very overweight – came to confront me. "You think you can treat my kids like that!? Up in her?"

My anger faded into confusion. "Her? Ma'am, do you mean, 'here'?"

She put her hands on her hips and tried to get up in my face. She was about four inches shorter than me, so it was awkward. I put my hands up in a general surrender as I tried to control my laughter.

But Ella had already lost it, and Iggy was backing her up.

"I don't get how a blind idiot gets to work in a place like this. I'm worried about how this store's doing! Well, maybe this is the only job you _can _get." The man obviously thought he won.

"Your wife looks like she's about to start poppin' 'em out again any second now! Maybe you should go worry about her!"

Luckily, our manager was on his lunch break.

And then an old lady walked into the door. She lifted her purse flung it at Fang's head, and he neatly dodged. "How dare you talk to my great-granddaughter that way?!" The lady tried again, and somehow, she ended up staggering backwards. Fang's hand was raised.

"Fang!" I yelled above the ruckus. "You just slapped that old lady!"

"Max, you're the one who taught us how to fight! It's reflex now!"

I face palmed. "Let's just get out of here before we get sued!"

Ella, Iggy, Fang, and I all made a run for the car. Fang sped out before we could get caught.

This was going to come and bite us in the butt.

**Hope you liked it! Seriously, tell me what you think!**

**-BlackStarGodliness (In love with Black*Star and Gaara and can't decide)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay, I'm just going to tell you now, this really doesn't count as a chapter, but I'm counting it as one anyway. I just don't want the chapters to get uneven. Kind of Death the Kid-like, you know? So, here we go!**

**Chapter 10: Contest results!**

**Okay everyone, I'm back to announce the winner of the contest! But first, hiddensecret564, thanks to you, I have officially chosen Gaara. Thank you. **

**But the winner of the contest is MaximumAngel1! Readers, you want to see the genius technique used to win this, look at the reviews. **

**I never thought this story would get so far. In about ten more chapters, I'll be making my way on to the hundreds! That's something I couldn't dream about before. I feel amazing. MaximumAngel1, you get the bonus chapter! It's the Flock going Christmas shopping! Yeah, it's out of season, so what? **

**Don't worry, minna, I will release that same chapter in about a month after I give it to MaximumAngel1. And BTW, minna means everyone in Japanese. **

**The next chapter that will be released to the general public will be the flock going on Family Feud. **

**Sorry if I'm late, but the last day of school is right around the corner for me! I got a lot of stuff to straighten out, y'know?**

** BlackStarGodliness**


	11. Chapter 11

Okay, so I realized just how derpy my fanfiction is on my laptop, so I'm just going to repost this.

I've officially put this story on hold. The schedule for it when it comes off of hold is on my profile if anyone is interested.

During this time, however, I'm not just going to sit around on my butt and do nothing! I've been writing chapter like CRAZY! MaximumAngel1, I'm still working on that chapter. Meh.

Also, I'm changing my profile name to KylaoftheDesert, so watch out for me!


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